You know those sleepless nights of partying and frivolity you had in your youth. It's kinda like that, but without the fun.

Saturday, July 28, 2012

Chick-fil-A and Me. Worst Breakup Ever.

I really need to stop reading articles that support Chick-fil-A, DOMA, and discrimination against gays. I legitimately go insane.
Chick-fil-A. Your sandwiches were never good enough to hate gays. This is coming from someone who loves chicken. Although I will admit that your chicken nuggets are bordering on a point where you can almost hate gays.

Now for the rant.

Either people need to stop leaving comments on these articles or they need to have some idea what they are typing about. Everyone (or pretty much everyone), whether they support Chick-fil-A or not, sounds dumb. I am glad that in the United States both liberals and conservatives, religious or nonreligious can sound like idiots. I hope people from other countries don’t ever find these articles or comments. The wild misspellings and name calling aren’t exactly charming. Calling Chick-fil-A and its supporters liars and bigots isn’t working any wonders, and it is not helping the homosexual/gay rights cause despite what you may think. On the other side, please do not refer to me as a “militant homosexual” Mike Huckabee. I don’t like it, and it scares me to think that I may be drafted now into both the United States army and some secondary homosexual army. On that note, One Million Moms never use the term ‘Big Gay’ machine. Ever. It just sounds too fun and like something everyone would want to join. So maybe, actually keep using it?

Along with not being in any military, I would also prefer not to burn in the pits of hell. That would really be a bummer. So please commenters, do not tell me that I am doomed to this fate as this seems slightly worse than a gay army. I think God is the only one who can determine whether I go to hell or not, right? Similarly, nobody is impressed by Bible quotes either. Any person with the internet, the forum on which you have chosen to write your words of wisdom, can Google “anti-gay Bible verses” or “anti-fag Bible verses” if you’re feeling saucy.

Also, STOP TYPING IN ALL CAPS. We get it. You are really passionate about this issue or your religion. That’s great, but typing in all caps is the internet equivalent of wearing a dunce cap in a 1920’s red schoolhouse.  

Basically, this is just an outcry for people to think before they type. Defending your stance is great, but in all actuality, most of the time, it doesn’t do any good. It is definitely not doing any good when either side lashes out on the other. On the pro-gay marriage side, it further confirms the religious beliefs of the traditional marriage side. I personally do not want to be written off as a “sinner”. I think with thoughtful arguments, our opinions can be heard and actually start to change the opinions of others. Let’s have conversations about issues instead of internet Jet/Shark-esque rumbles. Let’s find out why people think what they think instead of immediately telling them that they are wrong. And finally, let’s treat others how we would want to be treated. We learn this in grammar school and forget it instantaneously when we log onto the World Wide Web. These are actual people writing comments whom have thoughts and beliefs that may differ from yours. They have the rights to these thoughts and opinions as we do not live in the plot of 1984. Would you shout at these individuals on the street if their opinions differed from yours? I hope not, and if you would, I am going to say that you need some anger management counseling. Also, you probably did not get to this point in this post as you realized that this is targeted at your comments. It can be grating when you don’t understand what someone else thinks or why they think it. On homosexuality issues, the stance is pretty much something you are born into, so these ideas can be especially challenging to break/change/bend.

On an end note, I am a big proponent of freedom of speech and freedom of religion as long as you aren’t physically or emotionally hurting someone. I don’t think that Chicago or Boston should stop Chick-fil-A from opening new locations. It kind of violates the exact same principles that we want people to understand. Imagine if I could be fired for being homosexual. (Side note: Oh wait, that’s right, I can be in the majority of the United States.) I want to be able to work where I please and live where I please. Chick-fil-A should have this right too despite opposing the views of Chicago’s and Boston’s respective mayors. However, I do admire this stance and the conversations that it has been started. And this will be the only shout out I ever give to Chick-fil-A: thanks for starting this dialogue (or what could be a dialogue if we actually do the listening portion). By taking a blatant anti-gay marriage stance, you have brought to light several other gay issues and further pushed homosexuality into the public eye. Snaps for the “gay agenda.” (We don’t actually have an agenda. Shhh! *girlish giggles*)

Also, these cities have obese people who need terrible chicken sandwiches, and I don’t want to deprive the people of their freedom of food choice (I think that is in the First Amendment as well, right??). Another thing, I haven’t confirmed this, but I could definitely see some references to Chicago and Boston as Sodom and Gomorra, which we definitely just don’t need.

As for now, I will bid Chick-fil-A farewell. It was definitely one those relationships where you realize that the other person is terrible but you stay with them for years. I will not be going to your party that you are hosting on Wednesday (Chick-fil-A Appreciation Day...THIS IS HAPPENING). I will be screening and blocking all of your calls, and my friends will pick up my things around two p.m. tomorrow. 

P.S. I am sorry that I haven’t written in over a year. I was kind of a little busy with graduate school. I think I am back though, which feels good. I love a good comeback story. Also, I am sorry if this post is like the absolute worst. As I said, I have not written in a super long time, and I am rusty.


  1. Chick-Fil-A - you're kind of like pizza - you're not a complete meal - but, I guess you're alright.

  2. I find your hypocrisy astounding... In one paragraph you rally against "Jet/Shark-esque rumbles", only to give 'Snaps for the “gay agenda.'" in the very next paragraph.

    How dare you.

    Oh, and I agree with everything else you said.